In Search Of Work

Class of 2012

It’s no secret that a college student has a hard time finding work, they want something that pays well and applies directly into what they are studying. Nobody wants to slave over at KFC while pursuing a masters in engineering, they would rather have a career that makes them proud when they list it on a resume. Unfortunately jobs like this are hard to find, and even harder to obtain. Search engines like monster and workopolis offer a wide range of work, but new students are often lost in the process because they don’t have the experience needed. Web-sites such as kijiji and craigslist also offer some employment options, but the competition is tough and most jobs offered are freelancing gigs; so if you don’t do web-design or write, it will be difficult to find something in your field.
Thankfully, a new website has emerged to cater to the needs of grad-students. Talent Egg was launched August 22nd and has boomed among students and employers alike. Here’s how it works, a student enters their information; age, grades, school, major/minor, languages spoken. All of this information is turned into the students ‘talent card’. The employers (Procter&Gamble, Kraft, Molson) then hand-pick talent card criteria and sift through the students until they find what they are looking for.
For example, BMO can say that they are looking for a student who is in a Toronto university, majoring in accounting and fluent in English and French. Talent Egg pulls up all the students with talent cards that match that criteria and make a selection.
This revolutionary system assures that you are able to find something that fits not only your needs, but the company’s needs as well. All you have to do to log on is enter your information, a process that takes two minutes, and then wait for the employer to contact you. Post your success stories in the comment section.

Site goes live Sept. 2nd

Until next time,

keep it spazztic

Phit Like Phelps

Your body is a temple, everybody knows that. Unfortunately, not everyone can take care of a temple and often fill it with things that don’t belong. In the case of college students, these things include beer, Taco Bell, and whatever ’smells fresh’ in your fridge.

...I've had worse

Everybody has heard of the freshman 15, the 15 pounds a new student gains when entering college. The reason is that you are so excited by your new found independence that you go out for dinner at crap-shacks (see: Taco Bell) instead of eating good wholesome food. So to combat this, I’ve made up a guide that follows the Olympic regime that Phelps uses, but that can be adopted by your regular joe-schmoe.

• Eat A Huge Breakfast

According to his autobiography, Michael Phelps eats…

3 Sandwiches of fried eggs, lettuce, tomato, cheese, fried onions, and mayo. One omelete, a bowl of grits, 3 slices of french toast with powdered sugar, and wash that down with 3 chocolate chip pancakes.

Unless you’re a human sponge, it’s unlikely that you will be able to consume this much. But we can use Phelps’ breakfast as a model to what we should do; eat a massive breakfast. You want to carbo-load (copyright) as soon as you wake up to fuel you throughout the day so start by downing some toast and butter (don’t use margarine) and then cracking up a 3-4 egg omelette. Wash this down with a protein powder and milk and you’re set for a good 6 hours. Use lunch to grab some proteins and eat a light dinner of fruit and veggies.

• Stay Moving

Phelps has to swim, run and workout all day long, which explains his freakish physique. But what you have to remember is to move constantly, never stay planted for more than an hour; take a walk, go to the bathroom, pump out some push-ups, anything. The trick is to keep your metabolism fired up and make sure it keeps burning fat from your body. A great investment is flex-bands which you can take anywhere and use them to workout any muscle group whenever you feel like. Keep them at your dorm or in your bag, just make sure that you use them!

• Hit The Gym

Just because your moving, doesn’t mean your going to gain new muscle, you need to pump iron for that. An Olympic workout will be full-body and consists of roughly 2 hours of lift, pulling and pushing. Students don’t have that kind of time, so what were going to use is the 40 minute workout which targets all muscle groups. Start with shoulders, then arms, then upper and lower back, chest, and finally abs. Pick your favorite workout for each group and do 1-2 sets of 8-12 without resting in between. Finish all of this with a 1 mile run and you should be out of the gym in less time than it would take Phelps to finish his breakfast.

Phelps eats 2 of these

• Catch Up On Z’s

When you’re not working out, eating, studying or partying, then make sure you’re sleeping. It doesn’t matter whether it’s in a row or not, just get 8-9 hours. Grab a nap after class or after a workout to make sure your body can reload and rest. This keeps you sharp and on-track to make sure that you can listen to a lecture without dozing off, or party till the wee hours on the weekend.

• Don’t Give Into Temptation

Phelps swam every day since he was 14; Christmas, birthdays, it didn’t matter, he never strayed from his goal. Use that in your routine, walk past the crap-shacks, resist Pop, and stick to hard liquor (beer is dripping in carbs).

Follow these steps and you can fend off the freshman 15, and maybe even turn it into the freshman -10.

This could be you...but probably not

Until next time,

keep it spazztic!

Boozin’ On A Budget

Any student has needs, this is a well-known fact. When we were young, we need food and drink, but as we matured and entered high school we discovered a new type of drink. Alcohol. Whether your first drink was a beer in your friends basement or a swig of hard liquor at a house party, you understood that this beverage had positive, and negative effects.

“Alcohol; the solution to, and cause of, most of life’s problems”- Homer Simpson

You made new friends; the guy with the two-four became an adopted brother to you and the girl on wobbly ankles became target #1. However, as we matured we adopted fake I.D’s and went to buy our own booze! We found favorites; a micro-brew or a flavored vodka, it didn’t matter because now you could buy it. However, like Spider-man, we realized that with great power came great responsibility. But unlike Spider-man this responsibility became budgeting your paycheck, and not whoopin’ Rhino ass.

Image taken right before Spidey went on his annual pub-crawl

This brings us to college life. During all of our education, most of us are broke, which means that the only thing we can afford with alcohol in it is Listerine, and although this choice leaves our hangover minty fresh, it’s best avoided. So we need to scrape together change in order to buy the basics, and this guide will assure you that you can get loaded with the bare minimum. Think of this as the ‘Survivorman’ of booze.

Scenario A:

The B.Y.O.B House Party

This party is normally held at someones house who cares enough about his friends to invite them over, but not enough to shell out for some liquor. In this situation your best bet is Olde English, the 40 oz. of malt liquor that has more nicknames than Lebron James. However there is a catch, remember that old rhyme you learned in highschool? Beer before liquor never been sicker, liquor before beer you’re in the clear. Right? Well forget it, here’s your new rhyme. Beer before liquor get drunk quicker, liquor before beer you’re a queer. Learn it, memorize it, use it. Since Olde English is more beer than liquor you’re gonna want to polish this baby off and follow it by bumming a shot of the hard stuff from a friend. This is going to insure that you’re loaded, but still only out $5 dollars max. The other great thing about a house party is that it’s not that hard to sneak some booze off your peers; so even if you show up dry, you could very easily leave in a Nick Nolte type state.

Scenario B:

The Bar/Pub/Club

This gets slightly more difficult as it actually requires you to exchange money for booze at the party. A simple way to get out of paying: bar bets. Here’s the one you need to use to guarantee a night of debauchery. You need:

• A glass
• A marker
• A napkin

Simply approach a group of people and ask them what they think is longer, the circumference of the rim of their glass or the height of said glass. Most will say about even. Stack something on top of the glass (cell phone, stack of coasters, anything) and ask them now. Most people will say that the stack of objects and the glass is taller than the circumference. Mark how high your tower is and then take a napkin and use it to measure the circumference, then unfurl it and show them that it really is taller than your tower. Collect your rewards and be on your way.

The thing is, the circumference is roughly 1.7 that of the height, so as long as you make sure your tower inst twice the size of the glass, you should be fine, and loaded. This video may explain it better.

So now you know how to ensure your intoxication night after night, while saving up for whatever you want!
Until Next Time,

keep it spazztic!

This Could Be You!

I Get Around…

Most students have a lot on their mind. Juggling school with work and a social life can be stressful and time management becomes key. The last thing we want to do is waste time by walking, or using some other form of inferior transportation (skateboard, bike). Now a car is great, but with the price of gas you may want to save the 5 dollars it would take you to drive from work back to residence. A bike is also a nice mode of transport, it keeps you fit and feeling great. However when you finish up a late project, the last thing you want to do is pedal home at 3am.

This brings me to…the scooter.

Above; Bitchin wheels

Now I may be biased here, I do own own myself and use it to get around. But even if I didn’t own one, you can’t argue with facts, so I present to you:

Requiem For The Scooter

• First off, these things look great, their sleek and small allowing you to weave through traffic and catch peoples eye
• Easy. Can you drive a car? That’s great, you need even less skill to drive a scooter; throttle to go forward, break to stop. No clutch or gears at all
• Speed. A 125cc scooter can top out at around 90 km/h depending on your weight. I’m 6′4, 215 pounds and this thing lets me go 80 km/h.
• How much gas? Well depending on the scooter it can vary, the one pictured above take $5 to fill up. Seriously. It gets around 100 km to the tank which means that you can drive around campus for around 3 weeks without having to fill ‘er up
• Parking is a joke. Imagine this, you’re late for class, you drive up in your sedan and scan the lot for a spot, but the only one you find is halfway across the campus. You get out and run to class, only to make it in just in time to hear the professor tell you the last hint for your exam. Bummer. Or you pull up in the scooter, park on the sidewalk or in between 2 cars, mosey into class, take a seat, set up and hear some useful tidbits from the prof.
• Variety. Don’t like the one pictured above? That’s fine, you can find hundreds of other ones online, a sportier one, a more unique one, or even an electric version.
• Pick Up Chicks. If you drive one of these bad-boys your more than likely to get a few questions, and if you play your cards right you can score some numbers using the following explanation. “I’m trying to go green, you know we really have to reduce our carbon footprint because this is the only earth we have” After that, regurgitate whatever you remember from Al Gore’s movie and you’re set.
  

until next time, keep it spazztic

4 Things You Can’t Leave Without

So now you’re all set, accepted and ready to go. But before you leave, you will need 4 things to make sure that you’re a) happy b) connected c) successful

A Laptop

Now the laptop is the heart and soul of your experience. Most students have been accustomed to using their parents computers, so this new gadget will let you organize all of your own items; from music, to pictures and documents. It’s important to figure out what you need a computer for before buying one. Arts majors will need a basic laptop to be able to read and write documents and a good word processor (I recommend Microsoft Word). If your going into a science program you may need a few more items, but a basic laptop will do. Websites like Instacalc let you do more with less and you can even publish your results online. For anyone reading this who is planning on going into graphic design, I wish you luck. Most graphic design students require 2 laptops, a PC and a Mac, to be able to fulfill the schools requirements. All that being said, when considering laptops remember this;

1. Toshiba
2. HP/Compaq
3. Samsung
4. Lenovo
5. Acer
6. Dell
7. Sony

That’s my personal rating of computers, Apple isn’t on there because it would require a totally different rating system. To clarify, this list is pretty much (price) vs. [what-you-get-out-of-it] so don’t take it personally if you bought a Sony

A Network

They say that school is the time when you make friends that will last your whole life, and although this sounds like something out of a hallmark card, it’s true. In todays day and age of technology, it has become easier than ever to stay connected. Facebook remains a staple of college life, but new gadgets let you stay in touch with your peers in innovative ways. One of these ways is through Twitter. Think of twitter as a way of sending messages of what your doing and then having them appear on the internet. People can follow you on twitter to see what you’re up to at all times so that cute girl in your anthro class knows exactly when to accidentally bump into you at the gym.

Killer Threads

Everyone has clothes, but one thing that you have to learn when you go off to school is what to wear. When going to class, you’re not trying to make a fashion statement, so leave the popped collars at home. You’re looking for comfort, so whether it’s sweatpants or shorts, make sure that you’re in something that you don’t mind sitting in for a long period of time during lectures. Laundry also comes into play, wearing 7 shorts a week means you’ll have to wash all of them on Sunday. Stick to 1 pair of shorts and 3 shirts a week, that way you may even save money by just hand-washing all of them. Weekends call for jeans and a fancy shirt, depending on where you’re going. Grab a black and blue pair of jeans and alternate them through the weekend, it should last you your whole school year. Picking a shirt for going out in can be difficult, depending on where you’re going. The best bet is to browse some websites and check out funky threads with some unique art on them. Their easy to maintain and help you stand out.

• Linty Fresh
• Color Overload
• Uneetee
• Springleap
• Threadless
• Squid Fire
• Also, any mall is a good source of this sort of fashion, specifically stores like H&M

A Plan

Alright, so we’ve covered all the things you need to buy, now its time for you to smooth out the details. Fact: You’re at school, Fact: You have to cope, Fact: You have to figure things out for yourself. University is when you get your life in check, you have to learn and then apply your knowledge. If you have a dream job that you want when you finish school you have to dedicate your summers and free time to getting that job. Do an internship, get in contact, do volunteer work. You have to always be working, but if your working at something that you love, then it’s not really work is it?

Until next time, keep it spazztic.

Moolah

Hey everyone, I’m back. I’ve been really busy with working my other job at the software company. Added to my current Starbucks job, this is equaling very little spare time, but lots of money . On that note (get it…) it’s time to talk to you students about something that were all worried about, our financial situation.

Now everyone knows that college or university can be very expensive; tuition, books, residence and food can all equal up to roughly 20 grand. You need to be able to get a job that you can do part-time while still maintaining your grades, as well as engaging in…let’s say extra-curricular activities. So here are your options;

1. GET A JOB!

This is much easier said than done, because as you know your campus is full of kids just like you who are also looking for a job. Your best scenario (if you’re already working) would be to do your research and see if your company has a store near your location. You would be surprised to find out how many food and drink franchises have stores set up on campus. However if you do NOT already have a job, it’s time to get one. I recommend a food service job because the hours are flexible and the money is decent. Waitressing or Bar tending is also popular, but isn’t for everybody’s schedule seeing as how it requires you to be up until the late hours. However if you’re a bartender, chances are you’re already close enough to the party that you won’t need to travel anywhere after work.

2. Tutor

Now, not everyone is a genius at everything, but chances are you’re very good at 1 or 2 things. Use that to your advantage, are you good at math? Use your highschool notes to teach calculus. Are you well read? Offer your knowledge to literature student who are struggling. It’s easy to advertise (read: put up flyers throughout campus) and the money is good too. Most of the tutors I know get paid from $20-$50 an hour, and if you’re good then your name will be recommended to other struggling students.

3. Freelance

This one goes out to the graphic designers and other artistic students. Find your niche and the market will follow. you wouldn’t believe how many students (me being one of them) are looking for someone to design their website or blog. If you’re a photography student than you can talk to the administration staff into paying you to take some snaps of campus for their brochures/websites etc.

4. Phantom income

In my opinion, the best way to make money, is by doing very little to no work at all. Investing in the stock market requires you to do some research and then put some money into a company. Do not put all your eggs in one basket; investing Nona’s birthday present into buying some Bear-Stearns stocks . Good places to look for starting up are e-trade, or best of all your local bank. Another option is starting a website and collecting revenue from ads. Blogger is great for this as it is integrates with Google.

5. Two words; E-Bay

People on the internets go nuts for college/university related stuff. Things that you pick up for free at pep rallies can be sold for around 10 dollars each. Lanyards, sweaters and t-shirts are also big sellers and can be marked up roughly 50%. It’s free to register and sell, and you get to post one picture for free. However if you want to add more pictures it costs 40 cents, which I recommend doing as it attracts more customers.

6. Strip

Okay, so this one isn’t really an option for most of us, but hey; if you’ve got it, flaunt it

Until next time, keep it spazztic